Chapter 5: Dragon Medium Wearing
It’s over! The long ordeal– Chicken after Chicken, Cow after Cow, and, mostly, Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man– is over!
I believe Omegawytch is the first character in RuneScape to reach 60 defense at below 40 combat; I’m not aware that anyone else claims to have done so. With stats of 1 60 1 49 1 1 1, it’s theoretically possible to wear The Only Item Requiring 60 Defense To Wear at 28 combat– and I have no doubt that someday someone will do it. Even after killing the dragon at 24 combat, Omegawytch could have reached 60 defense at only 36 combat– and my friend Scared2death very likely will do so. I certainly didn’t intend to gain all those attack and strength levels! But, if I hadn’t, 60 defense would have taken many, many more days, Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man…
I reduced the last Man to bones shortly before Sainteel’s 100 combat and birthday celebration was about to start. I logged onto 56warrior, trotted down to Yanille, conveyed my congratulations to Sainteel… and, shortly after Shacoya started the Swamp Toad Catching Contest, fell asleep at the keyboard! I guess all those Men just wore me out…
This morning I set about the business of trying to buy The Only Item Requiring 60 Defense To Wear. I placed a few ads and answered a few on the Market boards, but I hate buying and selling, and Scapeboard was having database problems, so I decided I’d rather be thieving.
Logging onto Omegawytch, I loaded up with cakes, then went looking around Ardougne for a Paladin. Whoa! There’s one in the RPDT building! Carefully closing the door, I picked his pocket until I was out of cakes, and down to 21 HP.
Carefully closing the door behind me, I stole another load of cakes and returned. This time, the Paladin was hitting harder. I was down to 18 HP when I left (carefully closing the door behind myself) for more cakes– and the Paladin wasn’t looking too good, either.
The Paladin soon fell to the fury of my flailing fists, but not a bad haul from a single Paladin… Whoa! The 39 killed a Paladin with fists! Fear my 2s!
Doh! I was wearing my Dragonstone Amulet! If I’d been wearing my Emerald Amulet of Protection, both the cakes and the Paladin might have lasted a little longer, and the haul might have been even bigger.
I banked the runes, coins, weapons, and drag ammy, withdrew the emerald ammy, topped off the cake supply, chased another Paladin into Zenesha’s Brass Bra Bazaar… er, Plate Mail Top Shop, carefully closing the door behind me, and got to work again. A number of people came in to marvel at the 39 picking Paladin pockets and to chat; a few of them carefully closed the door behind themselves when they left. I carefully closed the door behind the others.
But someone must have opened the door when I wasn’t looking; the Paladin escaped. I followed, but a level 60-something, whose name I unfortunately didn’t catch in time to add to the Long And Growing List Of People For Whom I Will Not Go Out Of My Way To Do Favors (LAGLOPFWIWNGOOMWTDF, for short), waited patiently until I retreated, then attacked. 56warrior would have shot; Omegawytch could only watch helplessly as the level 60-something slaughtered the poor Paladin, and banked a mere 96 chaos runes and 7680 GP from the second Paladin of the day.
I chased another Paladin into the room south of the South bank, but I had picked his pocket a mere 14 times when someone burst into the room, waited patiently until I retreated, and attacked– then retreated himself and left (not bothering to close the door), leaving the Paladin just barely alive. I added the name Auron000 to the LAGLOPFWIWNGOOMWTDF; I was able to pick the Paladin’s pocket only 15 more times before he fell to the flailing fists of fury.
Returning to the square, I tried to pick a Paladin’s pocket and failed. While we were fighting, a level 68 in black Priest robe and gown maged the Paladin. When I retreated, the paladin of course attacked the level 68.
It doesn’t happen always… It doesn’t even happen often… But once in a while, when you least expect it, what goes around truly does come around. I was not able to add the level 68’s name to the LAGLOPFWINGOOMWTDF, because the Paladin killed him. Firenimmo and I pounced on the pile:
Thanks, Firenimmo! Now you’re in one.
Firenimmo said he got several hundred Nature runes. That was fine with me– I was just purely pleased to pick up those law runes!
I banked my booty… Whoa! Paladin in the room south of the bank, probably the same one who had killed the mage wannabe. Without stopping to top off the cake supply, I scampered around to the room, carefully closing the door behind myself, and got back to work.
As I worked on the Paladin, I was chatting with Darksavior69, who had first greeted me while Auron000 was getting his name added to the LAGLOPFWIWNGOOMWTDF. Darksavior69 had generously asked if he could help Omegawytch in any way, and I in turn asked if he’d sell a Dragon Medium. He said he wouldn’t sell, but would loan. I declined, with thanks; as a result of mining and smithing, fishing and cooking, thieving, and killing Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after Man after herb-dropping Man, Omegawytch is well able to afford The Only Item Requiring 60 Defense To Wear. At this point, it’s just a matter of finding the right deal.
I persisted in plundering the Paladin’s pockets, to a pleasant plateau:
Just after reaching this milestone, and just as the cakes were running out, I looked up to see Darksavior69 grinning at me from the bank next door. Ah, why not?
It was a perfect fit!
I’m pretty confident that Omegawytch will soon be wearing her very own Dragon Medium. At this point, it’s just a matter of finding the right deal.
56warrior
Notes
All images in this chapter sadly seem to have been lost; they are not present in the RsInn archive.